Sunday, October 30, 2011

The New Job

D has been interviewing for a different position in his company for the last couple of weeks.  He got it!  Congrats to my husband! 
It’s a promotion and more money.  Good, right? 
He found out that he got the job on Thursday and was on a flight to Chicago by Sunday at noon.  Gone for almost a whole week!  I was sick to my stomach.  He was given the job offer and was told about the mandatory trip to Chicago at the same time.  I probably should have been more excited for him but all I could think about was losing time with him.
This job does require a decent amount of travel.  Is this going to work out?  The boys and I are used to him being around a lot.  His hours were always pretty flexible and he was there for the really important, kind of important and just plain fun things.  Are these days gone? 
There is one thing I am sure of.  He is a great dad and a great husband.  He will never let work get in the way of that. This is what makes me feel a whole lot better.  He will make this work.  He always finds a way to make things better.  One of the many reasons I love him so much!
Oh and by the way, it couldn’t have been worse timing.  Both boys are sick.  We are doing the god awful nebulizer 3-4 times a day which is just a little bit exhausting.  And over the past week my perfect little part time job has become a lot more stressful which is another post all together.  So, all of this happening at once was very overwhelming to say the least.
Let’s talk about the 5 nights away from D.  It was the first time he had been away from us overnight.  We missed him terribly.  And he missed us too.  I heard it in his voice every time we talked. 
My mom was a HUGE help and slept over to help out with my kids who don’t sleep.  Thank you Mom!  Thank you God!
She even told me to get out and enjoy myself after the kids went to bed.  I took her up on that the first night and went out to dinner with a couple friends.  It was awesome.  Love the dinner and wine thing!
And the next few nights I was just too exhausted to leave.  My mom and I just got cozy in bed and watched some TV.  That was just as good!
Back to the kids…
1st night…slept through the night.  Hmmm…that’s weird.
2nd night…slept through the night.  Ok, what is going on?
3rd night…slept through the night. Mom, are you drugging my kids?!
4th night…same as above!
5th night….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Seriously, I make such a big deal about not sleeping and what awful sleepers my kids are and then they make big liars out of me!  I don’t have words.
I have to say, the days were tough!  The no daddy and being sick combo probably got the best of them.  If I have to hear Little Man whine for no reason at all or carry his 33lb ass around for one more second I think I am going to check myself into the nut house.  Seriously.
So we survived the several days without Daddy.  I have an amazing family helped out big time and I am so grateful for that.  I am not sure I could have done it alone!
Oh and by the way, the first night D was back we were woken several times by Little Man.  And Baby is screaming his head off in his crib at this very moment.  Mom, can you bring your magical presence back here please?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Potty Talk

I haven’t started the whole hard core potty training thing with Little Man yet and for some reason I am not feeling the rush.  Maybe it’s because I know Baby has a least another year of diapers anyway.  Hey, if I am changing 5 diapers a day, might as well make it 10! 

Unless, of course, my Baby genius starts excusing himself to go to the bathroom in the near future. It would not surprise me!  Yea, I am a proud mommy but he is super smart!

This post, however, is not about how smart Baby is.  It is about Little Man and the potty.  I can’t remember exactly when but it was at least 8 months ago that we bought a potty and Little Man pooped and peed in it within the 1st hour!  I was amazed and thought “Wow! I don’t even have to train him!”  Well that was the end of that for a few months. 

We recently started daycare 2 days a week and Ms. Helen has somehow gotten him to go on the potty several times.  She gives him a couple of M&Ms each time he goes.  It hasn’t worked that well for me at home but like I said, I am not pushing it.

The other morning we were filling up the bathtub and Little Man took it upon himself to go pee-pee on the potty!  He just walked his little naked self over to the potty, sat down, pointed his little wee-wee down (ha!) and went!  I was so proud of him. He got 3 M&Ms and couldn’t be happier with himself!

Is it weird that I hate to get rid of my son’s poop or pee because I think it is so CUTE and enjoy looking at it!?  I think I just answered my own question. 

Anyway, as I was being creepy and admiring my son’s urine, I noticed it was really cloudy with particles floating around in it.  OMG what is wrong with him?!  This is NOT GOOD.

Have no fear, it was just dust. That is how long it had been since he went on the potty at our house J 

I think I am going to start stepping up the potty training a bit but I am not looking forward to the inevitable accidents, public restrooms and new excuses for not going to sleep.   Just what I need…new excuses for not going to sleep!  I am annoyed and tired just thinking about it.

How did my little baby grow up so fast? 

How did he go from this:

To this:

I just cried a little.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Dirty Clouds

I absolutely love to watch my boys experience new things. What I would do to see the world through the eyes of a child! I wish I could feel the way they do when they see a truck or an airplane or a bird or a cow or the stars or even the mailman. I just can't imagine the wonder and excitement that they must be feeling on a daily basis since the world is still so new to them. Even though I can't feel what they are feeling, it still feels so amazing to be a part of their new discoveries.

Until recently, my boys went to bed well before it was dark outside. Over the past few months, bedtime has gotten a little later and it is getting darker earlier.

Last week we were coming home from my parents house and got out of the car around 8 pm. It was a beautiful clear night and Little Man looked up into the sky. "Mommy! Look at the stars and the moon! They are shining!"

His little head was tilted all the way back and his smiling face was lit up by the moon light. I could have stayed out there with him for hours. Those moments are priceless. This was really the first time he noticed the real stars and moon outside. It was truly heartwarming.

So for the past week or so we have been looking at the moon and stars quite often before bed. He LOVES it! Tonight we were getting out of the car and he looked up. "Mommy, what's that?" I looked up and laughed. It was cloudy outside. I said, "They are clouds, sweetie! It is cloudy out so we can't see the stars tonight". Little Man was very confused. "The clouds are dirty, Mommy?" "No, it's just night time so they look darker than they do in the day". "Is there paint on the clouds, Mommy?"

I love to be a part of this stuff. I am so lucky to be a mom. Today was the biggest nightmare of a day but something super sweet usually happens before the end of the day and it makes it all totally worth it.

Yes, he did embarrass me about 6 times in public today, he cried for well over an hour in the car, he had about 5 solid tantrums, he gave me absolute hell at nap time and he basically wouldn't let D talk to him all day. And yes, D and I both had tightness in our chests at the end of the day and were pretty sure we were both having heart attacks. But, it's the little dirtly cloud moments that make us smile and remind us how lucky we are to be a part of these new little lives.

Okay, I am exhausted. GOOD NIGHT!!!!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Another Guilty Heart

A couple of days ago I came across a post called "Guilty Heart" from Beth at Through the Eyes of the Mrs. Since it really spoke to me, I thought I'd share it....

So my kids are pretty much amazing.
I've always known this but am not always there.
Sitting in the same room doesn't count.
Actually playing does.
At bedtime after I read & sing my heart is heavy.
I ask myself if I gave it my all today?
Could I have loved them more today?
Did I miss out on something today?
The answer is clear & simple.
I need to be more present.
I need to watch & listen more.
I need to play & hold on longer.
Life has taken a hold of me.
I'm busier then ever & it shows.
I'm sad & I miss these small moments.
These moments that I may see & hear.
I'm not really there.
I'm thinking about a to do list & tomorrow.
I need to think about today.
I need to hold on to these moments.
These moments that pass so fast. 

I know exactly how she feels! I am constantly feeling guilty that I am not giving enough.  It had been on my mind since I read it and it helped me make a change yesterday.  Let me share.

The boys were in the breezeway playing very quietly while I was in the kitchen emptying the dishwasher and straightening up a bit.  Nobody was calling for me, screaming, crying or hanging on my leg.

Yesterday's "Guilty Heart" post came to mind.  I stopped what I was doing, walked into the breezeway,  sat down with a fun toy and called the boys over to play with Mommy.   They couldn't get to me fast enough. It was so cute. I was feeling great about it.

We were having a blast drawing pictures of houses, flowers, balloons and dogs on the very cool water works drawing board .  I actually play with that thing by myself sometimes.  It's really fun.

Less than 60 seconds into it, all hell broke loose. They didn't give a shit about what I was drawing. They both wanted that darn pen.  I was a little annoyed too cause I was actually enjoying myself sitting on Little Man's comfy Pottery Barn chair and coloring.  Little Man was pushing Baby, Baby was screaming and I was trying to rationalize with them which I really have to stop trying to do.  I am pretty sure it just pisses them off more.  What have I done?!  I just interrupted two happy quiet kids and created monsters.

Little Man ended up in time out so did the did the water works board. Boooooo. Baby is too much of a baby to get time outs.  But trust me, they will be introduced in the very near future.  Both kids were mad at themselves, each other, me and and the world at this point. FULL BLOWN tantrums.  The 'play with your kids more' plan backfired big time.

Lesson learned.  I will wait for those moments when one or both boys are begging for my attention.  No need to disrupt perfectly happy babies.

In all seriousness, I do feel like I could give my boys more attention and I am always feeling guilty about something whether it's the kids, the house, my husband, my family, work or anything else. I have to make every second count.  These are precious moments and they do pass too quickly.  I have to remind myself of this ALL THE TIME!

This does have a successful ending.  While I was writing this post in bed last night, D walked in with Baby who had just woken up very unhappy and wanted Mommy.  I was about to tell D to just take care of him because I was clearly in the middle of something.  I stopped mid sentence.  This was a precious moment.  This is what matters.  NOTHING should be more important than my little Baby who wants his Mommy.  We fell asleep together and it was so worth it.

Thanks for sharing, Beth!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I Love You, Fall!

I have probably mentioned 109 times on this blog alone that I love the fall. I really really love it. As you can see, I have added my Fall To-Do List on the sidebar. Yes, I am a total nerd. I might add that I am amazed at myself for being able to add check marks and change the color of font using html code. I know, I know, I am a computer genius. Whatever.

About a week ago, I wrote a post about my recent house projects with pictures, captions, diy instructions, the whole nine. It's gone. I have no idea where the hell it went. So, I will have to recreate that one at some other time. In the mean time, I thought I would add a photo of one of my "Fall-y" projects to my I-Love-Fall post.

For those of you who read my now missing "Recent Projects" post (maybe 2 of you), I am sorry for repeating myself here. We recently went to Stew Leonard's and bought 4 pumpkins, 3 pretty mums, 2 cornstalks, 1 bail of hay and a partridge in a pear tree (I know, wrong season but it sounded good!) all for under $60! Oh Stewy, I love you. A pumpkin stand down the street from our house is selling pumpkins for $45 each! Who in their right mind would do that? Sorry if I am offending anyone here.

So, I decorated my front steps with all of this amazingly pretty fall stuff and I peek at it every 5 minutes. I know it's a litte weird but this kind of stuff makes me feel good. Moving on.

I also needed a wreath for the front door. I went to Michael's Arts and Craft store and picked up one of those plain stick looking wreaths and some foliage garland. I wrapped the garland around the wreath and secured it with some garbage bag twisties and that was that.

I also hung a "J" in the center of it with some fishing line. The "J" itself is actually pretty cool because D and I did some painting, crackling and antiquing to it and close up it looks very authentic. When we are done with the wreath, I am going to display it in the house.

Anyway, here is the finished product. I think I am going to sit on the front steps with a cup of hot cider and stuff my face with a cider donut from Plasko Farms. That way I can be in my fall heaven and check off 2 of my fall festive to-do items.

Happy Fall, Fall Lovers!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Thursday...a Little Late

I haven't been able to sit down at the computer for a few days but wanted to share some pics of Baby on the boardwalk on Thursday morning.

On a quick side note, Little Man was at his Thursday morning class which turned out to be the best day so far for him! I hope one day I can leave without him screaming for me...that is the ultimate goal. One step at a time.

Anyway, Baby enjoyed a nice, cool, sunny morning at the beach...

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Oh boy, do I have my hands full with Baby! He gets into anything and everything and the kid is fearless. He would climb to the top of the house if someone would let him.

I am pretty sure D and/or I save his life on a daily basis.

True story:  My girlfriend was telling me about how she got home from dinner a few nights ago and her little dog was missing. She looked all over the house for him and even drove around the neighborhood. It had been down pouring for hours with lots of thunder and lightning. To make a long story short, the dog was okay. He ended up being stuck in a small cabinet that he hid inside of during the storm. Here is the funny part...

We turn around to see this:

It was as if he were demonstrating what the dog did.  This is a tiny toy grill that he somehow managed to get his not-so-tiny self into.  And this picture is not doing it justice because he actually got his feet and legs in there too.  But by that point I was in panic mode and not interested in taking pictures.

I literally couldn't get him out and was on the verge of tears.  I am pretty sure my girlfriend was doing everything she could to not burst out laughing. 

I finally laid the whole grill on its back and pulled him out that way.  It wasn't easy.

So, needless to say, there is never a dull moment with this one.  He keeps me on my toes!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Apple Picking

It was a beautiful fall day today and I thought it would be nice to go apple picking with the boys. Fall is my favorite time of year and today was one of the first days that really felt like fall to me. It was sunny, around 60 degrees and the smell was in the air!

Ahhhh....I couldn't wait to get myself and the boys dressed in some long pants and sweatshirts, go to Silverman's, take a hayride up to the apples, walk around, and take amazing fall pictures.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I always question whether doing anything outside my house with both boys is really a smart idea. Today, my answer was yes.

We got to the farm, met our friends and decided to start with the pumpkins. They have a beautiful display of hay and pumpkins and and even a pretty fountain in the pond. Oh ya, and a digger digging less than 100 ft away.

Little Man practically jumps out of the car every time we see a digger on the road, there is no way I am keeping him away from this!

To my amazement, he actually listened to me. He just looked! What a good boy.

I didn't have such luck with Baby. He didn't slow down as I recommended several times and he ended up going chin first into a pumpkin stem. Ouch! It was just a little scrape that a kiss from Mom took care of.

Next, the hayride up to the apples! Yay.

Guess not. We were told that they don't run the hayrides on the weekdays so we settled for a golf cart. The boys were still psyched. We all packed in and the guy said "Did you buy bags?" Ooops! Forgot that part.

The boys and I stayed in the cart while J & "Dyn" went to the shop and bought the bags.

$16 a bag?! A very very small bag? We better get some good mother f'in apples.

The golf cart takes off. Weeeee. Baby is on my lap and I basically have Little Man in a full body lock (I think that is some type of wrestling move??) next to me. I have to say, I felt a little like Britany Spears riding in that thing with my kids on my lap. Is that even legal?

The cart didn't tip and we all got up to the apple farm unharmed. Of course Little Man and Baby take off in opposite directions. Little Man was actually listening to J so I was concentrating on Baby and making sure he didn't break his neck.

And then the bees showed up. They were EVERYWHERE and had a particular liking for me and the boys. They were literally walking on our clothes. To say I was freaking out would be an understatement. I was horrified.
Miracuoulsy no one got stung! They should really posts signs at every post warning of the gazillion bees you will most definitely encounter.

We finally found a few rows that were bee free and we were able to experience the joys of apple picking. We had a great time. We filled up our $16 bag with beautiful apples.

On our way back down in the golf cart I didn't know whether to hang on to my kids for dear life or to the $16 dollar bag of apples. I know I sound like a cheap ass but I just can't get over it. AND we didn't even get the hay ride. As my grandma put it, "that is highway robbery!".

I didn't lose one kid or one apple.

I was pooped! Do I really have to deal with the bee that just flew into the car? Really?

I would like to think that the boys had an amazing time apple picking with Mom but I am pretty sure that they are now just terrified of bees.

The whole way home Little Man was yelling "BEES!" "AAHHHH!" "BEES, MOM!" And of course I had mini heart attack each time wondering if there was a bee in the car or if he was just reliving the traumatic experience.

I guess I will have to start reading the Bee Book every night so that he doesn't look like his psychopath mother every time he sees a bee in the future.


I just got an email from a friend and fellow blogger, Mama Bug, who told me that my blog will not allow her to follow my site.  She tried from multiple computers and it wasn't letting her join.

Well, HALLE F'ING LUYA!  That is all I have to say.  I was wondering why the hell no one was following me.  Was my blog that awful?!  I started to try to make myself feel better by telling myself that I didn't do it to get followers, I did it as more of a journal.  At least I am getting all of this stuff down. Why should other people care about my family life? 

NO!  I DO want followers, damn it!  WTF.  I mean I told family and friends about it who said they were going to follow and day after day....ZIP, ZERO, ZILCH!

Thanks, Mama Bug!  I have just updated my settings so hopefully I start getting some followers.  My goal at the moment is 20.  That is a far cry from the current 2 I have.  Oh and by the way, that 2 consists of myself and my husband.

Come on, people!  Show me the love!